Half Baked Ideas
by The Daft Hatter
Summary: This is a small collection of some literal 'half baked ideas' that I just randomly wrote about Assassin's Creed, mostly about Desmond. First we meet his fiance in a bizarre twist of events,then an Ezio fic I can't remember where it was going to go then Desmond has a strange friend help him when the animus breaks then Desmond dead feels and last Desmond can't remember anything.
1. Angry White Boy Polka

Angry White

Boy Polka

Desmond left behind a lot more than his friends thought after getting kidnapped by Abstergo. What he did leave behind shocked even his dad a little when he told them. _Desmond had a fiancé_. So here is where we begin with Desmond, his dad, Rebecca, and Shaun in an elevator in a high class upper end New York apartment building. Upon reaching the penthouse on the top floor as Desmond recalled where she lived after hearing from their former neighbor she moved he proceeded to knock on the door faintly hearing music in the background.

"Coming!" A female voice shouted out as the sound of a rolling computer chair was heard going across the floor. A loud crash came soon after, "I'm ok!"

"Uh…." Everyone in the group just kind of looked at each other. The door opened revealing a smallish woman dusting herself off, she had long silver hair and was wearing a green Ugly Doll t-shirt with black pants and an apron wrapped around her waist filled with various sewing tools.

"Oh well hello sorry about that I'm making a dress for a friend please come in though." She spoke not even looking up rubbing her leg that probably has a bruise forming. Upon entering her apartment, it was no apartment, it was a penthouse! A full-sized penthouse! When she looked up finally after we were motioned to sit in the living room she jumped on me and started hugging me to death.

"Oh my god Desmond you're alive! I thought you were dead! You never came home for 3 years I thought you got killed by a local gang or something oh my god!" She shouted starting to cry as I hugged her back.

"It's ok I'm home now aren't I?" She looked at me smiling with tears streaming down her face before she got up collecting herself wiping her eyes and taking her apron off.

"Well now sir I do believe you owe me an explanation!" She glared still smiling.

"I'll get to that but first everyone this is my fiancé Stella Rhapsody. Stella this is my dad Bill, and my friends Shaun and Rebecca." I replied finally introducing everyone.

"It's really nice to meet all of you really it is because Desmond for the 7 years we dated before he disappeared never introduced me to any of his friends or family," She glared at me before continuing, "Before you tell me why it is you disappeared and I call the police department to close the missing persons report would anyone like some hot tea or coffee?"

"Wait you filed a missing persons report on my son?" My dad practically laughed, Stella looked pissed.

"When the man you love pours his heart out to you and proposes in the middle of a crowded airport after you return home from having to burry your own father disappears three days later saying 'hey I'm going to work be home later' you kind of have to file a report." I don't think I ever heard Stella back sass anyone before. My dad kind of glared at her for getting up in his face, although my dad is a master assassin Stella is not the kind of person you want to mess with either.

"Uh well… if the offer is still on the table I wouldn't mind having some tea please." Shaun spoke airing out the room removing the tension.

"Sure." Stella replied almost sauntering off into the kitchen. A few minutes later she can back with a tray with a tea pot and matching cups setting it on the coffee table.

"So Desmond where did you go? I missed you a whole lot you know."


	2. Around the World

Around the world

As I walked through the once familiar streets of Firenze I began to think about the family I once had and the close friends as well. I have begun to grow older, reaching the ripe age of 25, I remembered a close friend of mine from when I was small. _Ezio Auditore da Firenze_. I walked by his former place of residency remembering how his brothers and father convicted and hung for being conspirators against Firenze.

-_Where has the time gone?_- I thought as I walked down some winding streets to a once familiar door to an artist I knew, _Leonardo Da Vinci_. Leonardo was a close friend like Ezio except he enjoyed using me as a model for some paintings, I never minded because I had nothing better to do since my family didn't care about me most of the time. My family always had close ties with the Auditore family, growing up Ezio was my best friend him and I would always be getting into some sort of mischief. He taught me how to climb buildings and go free running across rooftops and in return I taught him how to ride a horse. My parents wanted me to have an array of activities to keep me busy and since we were high class citizens I had a tutor who taught me how to properly ride horses. Over time the more mischief we got in the more it drove our families apart and eventually we had to use a carrier pigeon to chat. Soon the pigeon stopped coming back and we stopped talking and our families stopped seeing each other. After the death of my father who I loved very much my mother kept strict tabs on my activities and never let me leave the house. Her reasoning was she thought the local 'puttane' (whores) would kidnap and make me work in the brothels. But after she remarried I would sneak out almost all the time since we didn't have money for my tutors. I never liked my new father, he was a drunkard who also was very abusive. On one of my many adventures I accidentally bumped into a man shopping in the market buying canvas and paints. After I helped him pick up his things he asked if he could paint a picture of me because he was intrigued by my black hair with greying streaks in it caused by the stress of my family. When he was finished with the painting of my portrait we became good friends frequently requesting I come back and model for more. A whole year past when my family was starting to go broke from my step-fathers drinking habits, he also started going to the local brothels more and more. Much to my mother's dismay I might add. Not too much later I left the sorry excuse of a mother and brother, who was never around after joining the local military, to him taking my meager possessions and wound up working for Leonardo as an assistant. And one day as I was cleaning up the place while Leonardo stepped out someone knocked on the door. When I answered the door _he _was standing there, _Ezio Auditore_.

"Buon pomeriggio, bella donna.(Good afternoon pretty woman) Is Leonardo home?" Ezio asked as I stepped aside letting him in smiling at the compliment.

"Leonardo stepped out for a bit but if you would like to wait a little bit I am sure he will return shortly." I replied getting a closer look at my former best friend. He was wearing strange clothes, a white robe with a hood pulled over his eyes casting a shadow on his face, metal armor with dings and dents in it, and carrying various weapons some visible some not. Hard to believe we used to go free running on rooftops together. Before either of us could speak again the door flung open to Leonardo standing at the doorway with arms full of art supplies.

"Ah Ezio what brings you here today? Another codex page perhaps?"He asked as Ezio smiled and nodded the two then walked off to decode the weird page. That was the last I saw of Ezio for a long time because Leonardo got his entire workshop moved to Venice in return for doing some paintings for a rich gentleman.

"Ahh so Caternia you are leaving me after all I done for you?," Leonardo spoke in a saddened tone, "Either way good luck on your travels and please if you ever need anything come find me in Venice. Also don't forget to write." He laughed a bit as I hugged him. It was then when Leonardo was moving to Venice I decided to go and see the whole world with my own two eyes. For six long years I traveled all over Europe and Asia, I saw as many things I could going on as many adventures I could find in my travels. And before long I saw myself returning to Italy, more specifically _Roma_.


	3. Everything's Comin' up Desmond

Everything's

Comin' Up Desmond

Although Desmond was used to stranger things happening to him, like after meeting his long time distant best friend on his vacation to Japan, he never expected this to happen. Standing in front of him were 3 of his ancestors, Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad, Ezio Auditore da Firenze, and Ratonhnhaké:ton (Connor).

"Uhhhhh Rebecca? What the hell happened?" I asked very confused slowly backing toward the door.

"Well I don't know how or why but lighting from the storm struck the building and the Animus started sparking, there was some smoke and then a flash of light and they appeared. But the Animus is fried so they are stuck here until I can get it fixed." Rebecca spoke typing away on the keyboard trying to recover data from the computer.

"Where are we? Chi diavolo sei? (Who the h*ll are you)" Ezio asked eyeing Desmond up and down.

"Oh bloody hell..." Shaun mumbled as he walked in the room with Lucy following close behind. As if things didn't get worse Altaïr started shouting and pointing in Arabic while Connor just stood there marveling at everything.

"Does anyone speak Arabic?" Lucy asked trying not to get too close remembering they are armed.

"No but I think I know someone who does." I replied and as if on cue his phone went off to the exact person he wanted to call with Around the World by Daft Punk was playing.

"Hi Desmond!" The woman greeted with a happy bubbly attitude.

"Hey Charlotte, I gotta know if you can speak Arabic. Only because I need your help with something." I asked silently praying she would say yes.

"You forget I can speak five languages fluently? And before you ask again yes I do speak Arabic and how soon do you need my help?"

"A.S.A.P. if possible."

"Normally I wouldn't just drop everything to help someone but since I have nothing better to do today sure where can I meet you?" Charlotte asked as I glanced over at Lucy who said she would get Charlotte in her car.

"Ok so I'll see you soon, just try to hurry." I spoke as he heard Altaïr yelling again.

"I will meine freundin but remember this, I am adding it to your invoice. Currently you racked up, including this, four I. on it just thought I'd remind you. T.T.F.N! Tah tah for now!" She giggled hanging up the phone. It was a miracle when Charlotte got here because Ezio kept touching everything along with Connor and Altaïr was smashing things with his sword.

"Oh thank god you're here Charlotte help please." I pointed at Altaïr as he glared at her when she walked up to him.

"مرحبا يجب أن يكون الرجل ديزموند المذكورة على الهاتف. أود أن أعرض رسميا لنفسي، شارلوت شيزوكا في خدمتكم." (Hello you must be the man Desmond mentioned on the phone. I would like to formally introduce myself, Charlotte Shizuka at your service.) Altaïr finally calmed down and looked at her as she spoke in fluent Arabic.

"مرحبا شارلوت، أنا 'الطائر'. انه لمن دواعي سروري أن ألتقي بكم. هل لديك أي فكرة من أين نحن؟" (Hello Charlotte, I am Altaïr. It is a pleasure to meet you. Do you have any idea where we are?) Everyone was just watching as the two went back and forth in the strange language.


	4. Wait

Wait

*_Flashback_*

"_Wait dad if I don't come back can you do something for me?" Desmond asked with a desperate look in his eyes._

"_What is it son?" I asked back feeling a hint of regret in his tone._

"_If I don't come back can you call this number for me and tell Stella I'm sorry?" The desperation in his voice was strong; the most I could gather myself to do was simple nod as Rebecca, Shaun, and I ran out of the cave._

*_End Flashback_*

So here I was making the phone call to the girl named Stella, whom I knew nothing about. The Phone started to ring before someone picked up.

"Hello this is Stella Anderson who might I ask is calling?" Her voice was calm and very soft.

"Uhm well hello this is Desmond's father Bill." This certainly was turning into an awkward phone call.

"Oh it's nice to hear from you Bill even though we've never been formally introduced. Might I ask why you are calling so sudden?" I couldn't do this over the phone I had to tell her to her face.

"I'd like to talk to you about Desmond actually but I'd rather do it face to face instead of over the phone."

"Alright I guess how would we do this I don't imagine you're in New York right now.


	5. Memory of a Memory

Memory of

A Memory

"Ugh…" I mumbled sitting up holding my head, "Where am I?"

"Morning baby!" She kissed my cheek.

"What? Oh uh hi….Uh Stella?" I was shocked, where am I exactly? Why was Stella here?

"You ok Desmond? You look a little pale," She put her hand to my forehead, "You feel warm, you wanna lay down and I'll make you some breakfast?" Stella looked genuinely concerned. I didn't know what was going on wasn't I just saving the world from Templars?

"I just had this crazy dream last night I was an assassin saving the world from Templars…"

"Oh you," She kissed my cheek again, "Look just relax and I'll get you breakfast oh by the way The Underworld is finally open for business tonight and your father is coming over for dinner tonight to celebrate. But if you're sick I could tell him to come another night?"

"No, no it's fine he can come tonight." I replied letting out a huff falling back on the bed.

"Alright then I'll call him later. In the meantime let me go make some breakfast for us anything special you want?"


	6. And Now You Know

And Now

You Know…

Working at the local library was the place for Shaun. He had endless books to read, complete silence, and to top it off it was a simple job he could handle without the threat of being murdered by Templars. Today was a normal day like any other, people checking out or returning books, asking various questions and what not until… _she_ came in. Ever since he started working here two years ago she came in once a month to check out a huge stack of books after returning another huge stack the same size. And in she came with a tall stack of books carefully walking over to the front desk gently putting them down on the counter standing there smiling.

"Um excuse me? I would like to return these books." She smiled as she spoke quietly as I walked over picking up the book on top and began the slow process of stamping them. Seriously she was a real pain in the ass why did she take out all these books? And seriously the late fees must keep her up to her eyeballs in debt!

"Ma'am how would you like to pay the late fees on these books?" I sighed feeling annoyed with her already shooting her a half glare. Still smiling, unfazed by my glare, she pulled out of her bag with the famous 'Vitruvian Man' printed on it a large wad of cash, she then proceeded to hand me a hundred dollar bill. After giving her the change I had to stamp all the books and put the return date into the computer for filing. An hour or so later the same woman came back with an even bigger stack of books than before!

"Excuse me sir?" She asked oh so politely as I pushed myself away from the computer screen.

"What is it?" I replied fixing my glasses pinching my nose as I felt a headache come on.

"I would like to check out these books please if you don't mind." I practically shot her a full on glare as I looked at the stack of at least thirty books. Something inside me just kind of snapped and I said something I was really thinking.

"God damn woman why do you insist on keep taking out so many god damn books?!" I almost shouted as her as the happy grin turned into an angry frown.

"If you would like to know why then come by this address tomorrow at eleven thirty." She grunted angrily writing down an address on a sheet of paper. After a five second glaring match she walked away without checking out the books, I guess I offended her. The next day I approached the apartment complex looking at the piece of paper in hand hoping I got the right address.

"I seriously hope I got the right place I am not going to waste anymore gas driving around town." I grumbled pushing the button for the girl to open the downstairs door to let me into the building. A quick elevator ride later he was standing outside the apartment labeled 'B-613'. Looking up and down the hall on both sides I decided to knock on the door before I knew it the same woman from the library was standing in the doorway. The only sound heard besides the squeaking of the door was Beethoven's fifth in the background.

"Oh good you made it please do come in." She spoke sounding almost posh with the hint of an accent. Looking around the apartment upon entry revealed a bigger horror than her constant book borrowing: a living room filled to the brim with book shelves overflowing with more books! What the hell was wrong with this woman?

"Uh…." Was all I managed to get out before she sat down on the furniture in front of the fake fireplace inviting me over.

"You are now probably very confused. Come sit and allow me to explain," She spoke not looking at me as I took a seat along the couch, "I've traveled all over the world since I was very small, as my parents wanted to broaden my horizons as soon as I could walk. Everything here is a collection of books artifacts and knick-knacks from my world travels. Also if you look closely you will notice that only a very small percentage are actually in English."

"Oh I suppose that makes sense as to why you keep taking out all those books at the library." I said looking above the fireplace at the beautiful but absurdly familiar painting. Then there was a loud hissing noise in the background and the girl got up.

"Oh the tea pot." She spoke rather dully losing the slight posh accent from before while getting up. As she was away in the small kitchen I continued to gaze the painting I felt like I had seen it before somewhere it was strange. Soon she came back with a silver tray and a tea set on it. She smiled setting the tray down on the coffee table before facing me.

"Who did this painting? It's beautiful."

"Believe it or not besides it being a family heirloom it is also a Leonardo Da Vinci. It's one of the few of his undiscovered works."

"How did you get a Leonardo Da Vinci painting?!"

"As I said it was a family heirloom. My however many times great grandpa is actually Leonardo himself I did the research." She smirked before sitting back in the chair pouring a cup of tea for her and me.


End file.
